When you sit down for sushi at a Tokyo restaurant, you might wonder what Japanese table manners you should follow. Getting the etiquette right helps you feel confident, show respect, and enjoy every bite. In this ultimate guide, you’ll learn seating customs, chopstick do’s and don’ts, drinking rituals, gratitude phrases, and handy tips to blend in like a local.
You’ll save time, avoid awkward moments, and leave a great impression—promise.
Prepare for table etiquette
Before you even touch your first slice of sashimi, there are a few basics to handle.
Remove your shoes when needed
In traditional restaurants with tatami (woven straw) floors, you’ll see a row of slippers by the entrance. Slide your shoes off neatly and place them toe to toe. Keep your socks clean or bring a spare pair—holes aren’t welcome.
Use the oshibori properly
You’ll often get a warm hand towel (oshibori) before the meal. Pat your hands dry only, don’t wipe your face or neck. Fold it back up and set it on the tray or table edge when you’re done.
Freshen up discreetly
If there’s a hand-washing basin nearby, give your fingers a quick rinse before sitting. It’s polite, and it preps you mentally for the meal ahead.
Understand seating hierarchy
In Japan, where you sit speaks volumes about respect and rank.
Identify kamiza and shimoza
The seat farthest from the entrance is the kamiza, or seat of honor. The shimoza is closest to the door. Hosts or junior guests usually take shimoza to offer the best spot to VIPs (Kokoro Cares).
Observe group seating
In casual izakayas, you might share tatami tables. Wait for everyone to arrive before settling in. If you’re unsure, ask “osaki ni itadakimasu” or “osaki ni dōzo” to clarify who goes first.
Master seiza posture (optional)
For formal meals, guests kneel with feet folded under the thighs (seiza). If it’s too stiff, a relaxed cross-legged posture is fine in most casual spots—just slip your legs under quietly.
Master chopstick etiquette
Chopsticks (hashi) are more than utensils—they carry meaning in Japanese culture.
Avoid taboo moves
- Don’t stick chopsticks vertically in rice (tate-bashi), it recalls funeral rites (Japan Living Guide).
- Never pass food directly chopstick to chopstick, that mimics bone-transfer at cremations.
- Don’t use chopsticks to shift bowls—pick up the bowl with your free hand instead.
Place chopsticks correctly
When you pause, rest them on a chopstick rest or lay them horizontally with tips to the left. After finishing, leave them side by side, never crossed.
Table: chopstick taboo vs proper use
| Don’t do | Proper method |
|---|---|
| Stick sticks upright in your rice | Lay them flat on a rest or table edge |
| Pass food mouth-to-mouth with sticks | Flip sticks around to use clean ends for shared dishes |
| Point chopsticks at people or dishes | Hold sticks gently and keep them parallel |
Navigate shared dishes
Sharing small plates is central to Japanese meals, so handle communal platters with care.
Use the opposite end
When you move food from a shared bowl, flip your chopsticks so the clean end picks up a portion. That way, you avoid hygiene faux pas.
Mind the portion size
Take small servings at first. You can always go back for more. It shows thoughtfulness and avoids food waste.
Respect serving order
Japanese meals often follow a set sequence, especially in kaiseki or formal dinners.
Wait for everyone
Don’t dig in until the host or guest of honor says “itadakimasu.” It’s polite to check that everyone’s ready.
Offer first
If you pour drinks for others, present the bottle label facing them and lift it with both hands. They’ll return the favor in good time.
Practice drinking rituals
Whether it’s sake or tea, sipping in Japan comes with its own choreography.
Pour and toast with sake
- Hold the tokkuri (sake flask) with two hands at chest height.
- Pour for others, never yourself—always refill your neighbor’s cup.
- Raise your cup with both hands and say “kampai.”
Handle green tea respectfully
When you get a yunomi (tea cup), bow slightly, say “itadakimasu,” and hold it with both hands (My Japanese Green Tea). If there’s a lid, open it with your right hand and place it face up on the saucer. After you sip, set the lid back on the table, inside facing up.
Make gratitude rituals
Saying thanks bookends your meal and shows appreciation for both cook and ingredients.
Itadakimasu before eating
This phrase means “I gratefully receive.” It connects you to centuries of tradition and expresses humility.
Gochisōsama after finishing
Once your plate’s clean, say “gochisōsama deshita” to thank the chef or host (Japan Guide). It leaves everyone with warm vibes.
Follow general table rules
A few more do’s and don’ts will keep you on point during any Tokyo meal.
Embrace slurping when fitting
For noodle dishes, a gentle slurp is praise for the chef and helps cool hot broth (Kobe Japanese Steakhouse). Just don’t overdo it and avoid burping.
Finish every last grain
Leaving rice or small bits behind suggests the meal wasn’t satisfying. Tidy your bowl to show respect.
Keep noises minimal
Talking in low tones is best. Blowing your nose, loudly munching, or tapping utensils draws the wrong kind of attention.
Don’t customize traditional dishes
In high-end sushi counters, avoid asking for swaps or extra soy sauce. Chefs craft each bite to perfection.
Blend into restaurant customs
Beyond the meal itself, these small actions help you fit in.
Call the server politely
Catch the waiter’s eye or say “sumimasen” to get attention. In some spots, you’ll see a call button—feel free to press it.
Pay and tip appropriately
Most Japanese venues avoid tipping. You can learn more in our Tokyo tipping culture guide. Cash still rules, so carry yen or get familiar with card payments.
Key takeaways
- Take off your shoes in tatami areas and use oshibori for your hands only.
- Sit in the kamiza if you’re the guest of honor, otherwise offer it up.
- Respect chopstick taboos—no vertical sticks or mouth-to-mouth passes.
- Share dishes with the clean end of your sticks and take small portions.
- Wait for itadakimasu, pour sake for others, and say gochisōsama when you’re done.
- Finish your food, keep noise low, and skip tipping unless necessary.
Try one tip at your next Tokyo meal and savor the difference. Got a favorite table-manner moment? Drop it in the comments or share with fellow travelers.
FAQs
1. Can I slurp all my noodles in Japan?
A gentle slurp on ramen or udon shows you enjoy the dish. Just avoid gulping loudly or belching after.
2. What if I break a chopstick?
Don’t worry. Place the broken ends neatly on your plate. Staff will swap them out quickly.
3. Is it rude to use my phone at the table?
Try to keep your phone on silent and off the table. If you must answer, excuse yourself and step away.
4. Should I remove my shoes in every Japanese restaurant?
Only in places with tatami floors or private rooms. Casual eateries and izakayas generally don’t require shoe removal.
5. How do I handle food I can’t finish?
If it’s a restaurant, it’s okay to leave unwanted items. At a host’s home, try a small taste and leave your plate tidy.
